When we think about giving feedback, most often we think about talking, not listening. But what if you could give the best and most effective feedback by asking questions instead? While this might sound strange, psychology tells us that self-direction is a powerful tool in motivation, and in fact people who choose their own path tend to be more productive as well as more likely to achieve their goals (http://www.qualitydigest.com/magazine/1995/nov/article/self-directed-work-teams-competitive-advantage.html#)
Let’s take an example. If we have a team member who routinely shows up late for meetings, we could tell her that it is a problem. We could explain how it seems disrespectful to those who took the time and effort to show up on time. We could even talk about how her behavior has a negative impact on the productivity of the meetings because we have to repeat things that she missed. However, it is likely that she would still show up late.